Are you looking for the best funny quotes to make your buddy laugh? As we knows, laughing is one of the way way to start a new day. If your any friends, relatives, and teachers are something in stress then you can use funny quotes to make them laugh instantly. Here we have shared a big list of new and best funny quotes. Read below funniest quotes and send to anybody to put smile on his/her face.
Best Funny Quotes for Make Laugh Anyone:
“”To see things from your point of view but I can’t stick my head that far up my ass.””
“What’s a queen without her king? well, historically speaking, more powerful.”
What if Gordon Ramsay voiced a GPS? “Great job, you missed the bloody exit you f**king disgrace.
My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face. 🙂
“I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know, just to be sure.”
“”If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.””
“”I changed my password everywhere to “incorrect.” That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, ‘Your password is incorrect.”” 🙂
“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
“At night, I can’t fall asleep. In the morning, I can’t get up.”
“Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.”
“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.”
If we shouldn’t eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? 🙂
New Funny English Quotes for You
“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”
“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”
“Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.”
“If you’re hotter than me, then that means I’m cooler than you.”
“A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.”
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
“Don’t know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they’ll show up quickly.”
It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.
They say “don’t try this at home” so I’m coming over to your house to try it.
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.
If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle.
As your best friend I’ll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing.
My goal this weekend is to move… just enough so people don’t think I’m dead.
I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
I am blessed with a funny gene that makes me enjoy life.
“I try not to laugh at my own jokes but we all know I’m hilarious.”
My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.
New Funniest Quotes
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
I am not an early bird or night owl. I am some form of permanently exhausted pigeon.
I’m not running away from hard work, I’m too lazy to run.
I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong. 🙂
When nothing is going right, go left.
Dear automatic flushing toilet… I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn’t done yet.
Everyday. Thousands of innocent plants are killed by Vegetarians. Help end the violence. Eat Bacon.
An apple a day keeps anyone anyway, if you throw it hard enough.
That moment when you spell a word so wrong, even auto-correct is like “I’ve got nothing man.
My prince is not coming on a white horse… He’s obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost.
When you fall, I will be there to catch you – With love, the floor. 🙂
I didn’t fall, I’m just spending some quality time with the floor.
I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge.
Yes of course I am athletic… I surf the Internet every day.
It’s alright if you don’t agree with me… I can’t force you to be right. 🙂
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you. – Best Funny Quote for Students
It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.
For the best seat in the house, you’ll have to move the dog.
I just cleaned everything from top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everyone to stop living here.
Latest Funny Quotes to Make you Laugh
Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.
Don’t mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words.
Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot.
When the past comes knocking, don’t answer. It has nothing new to tell you.
My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them.
Life is not about how you survive the storm, it’s about how you dance in the rain.
Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along.
I’m not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.
Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can’t live without each other.
All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.
Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done.
I’m not arguing, I’m just telling you why you’re wrong.
The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.
I made my Facebook name “Benefits,” so when you add me now it says “you’re friends with benefits”.
What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don’t look, I’m changing.
Also, Read Inspirational Quotes.